The Homecoming Whirlwind

Homecoming week is quite a whirlwind. My son said, “There is so much going on this week,” as he left the house to go back to school again. Being on the football team meant that he had practice every day during some of the festivities. Not only did he have football practice, but he was also running back to school for practices for the powderpuff game. The powderpuff game is when the boys are the cheerleaders, and the girls play the football game. Max was a cheerleader, and he went to the practices to learn the cheer, dance and stunts. I take pride when I say that he gets all his cheerleading moves from me!

My son is a senior and my daughter is a sophomore. This means they were both super busy the week of homecoming. I love that my daughter has gotten so involved in school. Being part of the executive committee led to her involvement in the float, parade, pep rally, movie night, decorating for homecoming, etc. I was so proud of Max for all the practices he went to that week along with all the activities he attended. I was so proud of Ella for going to every event and for helping and enjoying them all.

Mom tip: Encourage your kids to get involved. Ella went to so many more events this year because she was involved in planning them! Make suggestions of things they can join or ask teachers for recommendations of what your children can become a part of at school.

Homecoming festivities:

A Wednesday night outside movie night.

A Thursday night JV game.

A Friday pep rally, parade and powderpuff game.

A Saturday community bash, varsity football game and homecoming dance all in one day!

Mom tip: As overwhelming as it is, we need to try to stop and smell the roses and enjoy this journey with our kids.

Clothes stress:

When was I going to buy Ella a dress? These kids are so busy that I wasn’t even sure when we had time to shop. My friend ordered her daughter’s dress online. I never thought to do that.

Mom tip: My friend measured her daughter and ordered her a gorgeous dress online. Ordering stuff online saves so much time.

Ella and I found a Sunday to do it and off we went to find her a dress, shoes and jewelry. It was quite a shopping adventure with my girl. I loved watching her try on all the dresses. As much as I wanted to be home in my pool on a nice 80 degree September day, I really did enjoy shopping with her.

Ella was done – but Max needed clothes. I asked him several times to try on clothes and explained that Sunday was my only day to shop for clothes for him. It took me many times and I also sent his dad upstairs to tell him to get it done and try on clothes. He tried them on, and they fit! How wonderful is that! However, despite the ticket being bought and the clothes being purchased, Max wasn’t even sure that he was going. Planning a football game the same day as a dance was not a good idea. Max tends to be exhausted after his football games, so we were going to play it by ear and see if he was up to it. I wasn’t attached to anything.

Mom tip: Play it cool with your kids. The more you push the less likely they are to do something. Be casual!

Their clothes were all set. They both bought tickets. What about plans? We can’t assume that our kids know how to make plans. It takes skills such as organizational skills and assertiveness skills. We have to teach them. How are your kids at making plans? I am going to tell you three different scenarios with my three different children.

Let’s begin with Lillie – my spirit animal. Lillie is a lot like me. She is a social butterfly and thinks the more the merrier. Lillie will have a group of kids all planned out to go to homecoming and she will probably have a date. Lillie wants to take 15 kids to go to Darien Lake with her. That’s just how she rolls. I see huge groups of kids going to homecoming together. That is what Lillie, and I love. However, we have to remember that not all kids like this or want this.

Let’s move on to Ella Bella. Ella has four friends that she spends most of her time with. Ella doesn’t like big groups. She is happy with a small group of friends doing things together. I asked her if her friends were coming over for pizza and pictures before the dance. Getting answers from Ella and her friends was exhausting. I decided to text the moms, and they all answered me quickly. Sometimes I still have to talk to the moms!

Last but not least is my son Max. Max does not want to make plans. Max wants someone to make the plans for him and get it done. Max doesn’t enjoy making plans and doesn’t want to be in charge of that. Can someone please just make his prom plans for him? That would be great! Cause he won’t let me!

Max and Ella are more introverted. I don’t necessarily understand or relate to introverts, but my kids are teaching me. Lillie is an extrovert like me. I relate to Lillie. When Seth rolls his eyes that Lillie is on the phone again –  I relate – that was me.

Mom tip: Remember that your kids aren’t you.

I know that there were many moms who had a ball with the whole homecoming experience with their children. Social media was filled with all the beautiful pictures. I also know that there were moms who were saddened by all the photos for many different reasons.

If your kids are telling you that they don’t want to go to homecoming – encourage them to go. Find out the barriers. Maybe you can problem solve with them. Maybe it’s just not their thing. Some kids do not want to go to a dance period, and I think that’s ok. Some kids don’t know who to go with and may need your help. Some kids don’t even know what it is and may need you to help them understand what to expect. You can always connect them with an older student to show them the ropes and teach them about things like homecoming.

Mom tip: There are many different reasons for a child not wanting to go to homecoming. Keep your ears open and the lines of communication open with your children. You will hear bits and pieces here and there to put puzzle pieces together of what’s going on with your child. Moms are detectives.

Whatever your experience is with homecoming, I can make you a big giant promise that you are not alone. There is another child saying that he doesn’t want to go. There is another child saying that she doesn’t know who to go with. There is another child saying that she can’t afford a dress, so she doesn’t want to go. There is yet another child who was left out of a group and feeling sad. I heard a vast array of different comments from moms about homecoming.

Mom tip: It always helps to talk to other moms about parenting issues. Just venting can help but other moms can relate and help you with situations that are bothering you.

Each child has their own unique personality and their own unique strengths and weaknesses. The life of the party may be struggling in their chemistry class. The straight A student may not be into all the homecoming hoopla.

Encourage your child to attend everything.

Help them problem solve any barriers.

Point out their strengths.

Encourage their strengths.

Connect them with other students.

Help them get involved.

Learn from each event.

If they don’t want to go to homecoming this year, that doesn’t mean they won’t want to go next year. Kids change every year and circumstances change. They may have a good friend next year that encourages them to go with them next year.

As your kids go through school, I hope they find good friends who will encourage them to go to school events with them. I hope they find their people. I hope they open themselves up to new experiences. I hope they realize that just because they didn’t have fun this year doesn’t mean they won’t enjoy it next year. I encourage all of us to ride the parenting waves together. There will continue to be ups and downs as we go through parenting together. I am here for you along the way. I hope that your child made some good homecoming memories. If they didn’t, there are other memories coming your way.

Mom tip: Every child is different. One child wants to join the marching band, and the next child wants to be in the middle of a huge dance circle. Embrace your children and what makes them who they are. Every child is special and has their own gifts. Help them find their gifts!