Mother’s Day is coming this Sunday. I don’t ever take it for granted that I get to celebrate with my mom and MIL, husband, and children. All I ever wanted was to be a mom. From the time I can remember as a little child, I remember dreaming of having children one day. My wonderful husband gave me our three children. Our kids are the greatest gifts he could ever give me aside from himself.
Do you see how I just set myself up? I am already feeling extremely blessed and it isn’t even Mother’s Day. That means I am going into the day with so much love and appreciation that I am already happy! I want you to set yourself up for success. I want you to go into Mother’s Day with so much gratitude and love that you are already happy. Take a deep breath and look at your children. Take it all in.
I also want you to think about what you want the day to look like. I know from experience that moms don’t always do this. Do you want to relax? Do you want to go do something as a family? Do you want breakfast in bed?
Think about what you want Mother’s Day to look like and then ASK for it. I hope that you will be clear about your expectations with your family. If you want to go for a hike, let everyone know that you are leaving at 10 am to head on a family hike and that they are all to be ready. If you want to go to brunch like I do, tell your family to be dressed and ready to leave at 9:45 AM to head to brunch as a family. If you want them to surprise you, tell them that you don’t know what you want to do but would love for them to come up with something to do as a family and surprise you. I have spent many years teaching women to ask for what they want.
Mother’s Day is a perfect time to honor yourself. Forget your family and friends doing things for you. You can spend time doing something for yourself. Moms, take this day to indulge in activities that rejuvenate you. Whether it’s a long bath, reading a book, or just enjoying some quiet time, make sure to carve out moments just for you.
Spend some quality time with your children in a way that feels special to you. It could be a walk in the park, a board game, or a special meal cooked together. The activity doesn’t have to be grand; it’s the togetherness that counts.
Sometimes, a simple gesture can mean a lot. Consider reaching out to other moms in your life. A message, a card, or a call to acknowledge their hard work and resilience can brighten their day. I like to send a lot of moms in my life a happy Mother’s Day text message just so that they know that I am thinking of them.
Take some time to reflect on your journey as a mother. Consider journaling about your experiences, what you’ve learned, and what you hope for the future. This can be a wonderful way to see how far you’ve come and to set intentions for your continued journey.
Mother’s Day can be a great opportunity to start a new tradition. It could be an annual photo with your children, a special meal, or planting a new flower or tree each year. Traditions create lasting memories and give you something to look forward to each year.
I hope that you get to spend some time with family and/or friends and can feel the love around you. I have a couple of friends who just lost their moms who I am worried about. I will make sure to check on them. I hope you will still allow your family to celebrate you and I hope that you can do something special to honor your mom. I know my mom visits the cemetery and plants flowers for her mom every Mother’s Day. Maybe you can plant your moms’ favorite flowers at your house. Get your children involved. Maybe your mom loves a certain ice cream sundae. Take your kids for sundaes and think of your mom and talk about the memories you all have. Think of a special way to remember your mom.
My friend lost her first child, and I am thinking about her as I type this. I hope she does something on every Mother’s Day to honor her first born. I know Mother’s Day can be difficult for so many reasons. I see you and I send you a big giant virtual hug as I type this.
If you are yearning for a child that you have not been able to conceive, you are probably wanting to totally ignore Mother’s Day. If you are struggling to conceive, then I send you my love and prayers. I hope that you get pregnant, carry the pregnancy full term, and deliver a healthy child. If this doesn’t happen for you, I hope that you can find another route to fulfill your dream. I follow a couple on social media who ended up adopting a baby. I watched them through their long journey to try to conceive unsuccessfully and I prayed for them. Seeing their joy with their adopted baby makes me so happy. I want all your dreams to come true. Sometimes it isn’t the route that we had planned, and we need to problem solve and find an alternative route. That is much easier to say than to live through, but I wish for you what you wish for yourself!
Sometimes the loss has to do with a conflictual relationship. Some people do not speak to their family members for various reasons. It could be that the relationship was toxic or abusive and you needed to cut ties for your emotional and / or physical well-being. There may have been a conflict that hasn’t been resolved. If the relationship was abusive or highly toxic for you, I want you to ignore my next sentence. If you got into a conflict that hasn’t been resolved over the years, Mother’s Day may be the day to reach out and say hello. Maybe it’s a good day to write a letter to send off. If you don’t want to mail it, sometimes it helps to get your feelings out on paper and then rip it up. You can plant it, burn it, or throw it out depending on what feels the most therapeutic to you.
I hope that you will:
- Think about what you want Mother’s Day to look like.
- Honor yourself.
- Reach out to other moms in your life.
- Connect with your children.
- Start a Mother’s Day tradition.
- Reflect on your motherhood journey.
- Do something that you enjoy on Mother’s Day.
- Spend time with family and friends on Mother’s Day.
- Be clear if you have any expectations/requests for Mother’s Day from your family. Ask for what you want.
- Have realistic expectations.
- Honor your loved ones who have passed away.
- Reach out to your mom or MIL if appropriate if you haven’t spoken. A good day to do a little healing.
- Look around at your loved ones and feel all the gratitude.
This Mother’s Day let’s embrace the joy and the challenges of motherhood. Let’s support each other and remember that every mom’s journey is unique, but what binds us is the unconditional love for our children and the shared experiences of motherhood. Happy Mother’s Day to all the incredible moms who inspire and nurture us every day!
Laughing, Learning, Loving,
Rebecca Greene, LCSW-R
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If you are looking for a supportive community, come join the free Whinypaluza Mom Facebook group. I created this as I wanted us to have a place where we can talk about tips, strengths and challenges we are having. It is another step I took to help everyone to know that you are not alone. The May Mother’s Day challenge was so much fun. Come join the group and bring a friend with you! I love to give away prizes. This group is private so please find me on Facebook at Whinypaluza or Rebecca Greene and message me to ask for an invite. I’m also on Instagram @becgreene5 and @whinypaluza_mom. I am also on Tik tok @whinypaluzamom.
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