If you follow me, you know that I just read my favorite book of all time: Change your Paradigm, Change your Life by Bob Proctor. If you haven’t read it, I strongly suggest you go buy it and read it or listen to it. It is a total game changer. I am going to share all my notes with you from the book. I have only read this book once and I need to read it again and again.
You are already there:
Your future must become your present. Think from the end. You are already there. “I am so happy and grateful that…” Be in the present. Be already there. Act as if you already have it. It’s not that you are striving to get there it’s that you are already there. It shouldn’t be a struggle – it should be a flow. We act like we are working so hard to get somewhere when we need to act like we already achieved it.
I had a supervisor tell me to pretend that I am a fabulous therapist to increase my confidence when I was new. Before I knew it, I wasn’t acting anymore! Act like the person you want to become and watch it happen.
I love that Bob suggests recording ourselves saying what we have achieved. If we listen to it repeatedly, we will believe ourselves and plant it into our subconscious. I love how he explains to us that great actors live their part to become it and give us an awesome performance. Our life is our performance.
Make big huge goals:
You have the potential to do anything that your imagination can think of. Make big huge goals for yourself. The imagination is a miraculous thing. Thinking from the end is what is making miracles happen. Believe and your belief will create the facts. Everything and anything is possible. There is nothing that you can’t do. Visualization to put it into your subconscious to achieve it. It doesn’t matter if it is logical. What matters is if you want it. We don’t need to know how we will get something. We simply need to believe that we will get it.
Focus and concentration increases the energy. You want to give energy to what you are going after!
Changing our beliefs:
Our belief system is based on our evaluation of something. If we reevaluate a situation – we can totally change our belief system. Repetition is what will eventually change your belief system. If you hear the same thing over and over again you are going to start to believe it. Keep reevaluating your beliefs. Belief systems are constantly changing. If you want to change – you need to get that new belief into your subconscious. Repetition and visualization are what is going to get it into your subconscious. Once you get it into your subconscious – that is when you will see results! The conscious mind can dictate what goes into the subconscious. The subconscious mind is responsible for what we do.
An example from Bob Proctor on how to change how we think: Write down your problem. Eliminate as many words as you can while still keeping the same idea present on paper. Sit down and think about how other people would look at this same problem. He says that will lead to looking at it totally differently. Remember that perception is an intellectual faculty that we have control over with our thoughts.
Shifting our perception is what leads us to being able to change our paradigms. We all inherited limiting beliefs. It is now up to us to identify them and get rid of them.
Confidence comes from Knowledge:
The more that we learn in life, the more confident that we become. If you don’t know how to do something, learn about it. Look for information. Your confidence comes from your knowledge. Lack of knowledge causes doubt and worry which causes anxiety.
When I first started podcasting, I had no idea what I was doing. My husband had to teach me. The more podcasts I completed the more confident I became. I just aired number 428. That’s a lot of podcasts, a lot of knowledge and a lot more confidence.
Bob emphasizes many times in the book how much he values to always be studying and learning. Always have goals. Always be improving. Always be learning.
The habit of studying the right things will change our life. Knowledge is what leads to understanding which is what leads to faith.
Understanding our Anxiety:
I stated above that lack of knowledge causes doubt and worry which causes anxiety. Doubt and worry cause a fear vibration that is expressed in the body as anxiety. The opposite of doubt and worry is understanding. You get understanding through study. Understanding is what leads to faith. Faith is the opposite of worry. Anxiety expresses itself as depression. Understanding expresses itself as well-being. Anxiety is suppressed which turns into depression.
Everything just is. We make it into something good or bad with our thoughts. We don’t want to overidentify with our thoughts. Just note the thought and think something like, “Oh, there is my reactive mind.” The next time you are feeling anxious – what can you go learn to make yourself understand more and feel more confident.
Freedom is understanding. Understanding ourselves is where the true freedom lies. This is different for everyone. A perfect example is motherhood. I love being a mother. It is what I always wanted and desired. When I talk to other mothers sometimes I hear that they find it to be a prison for them and it does not make them feel free. We all can look at situations through a completely different lense.
Well being is expressed. The expression turns into acceleration. The acceleration turns into creation. The other side of it: Anxiety is suppressed. The suppression turns into depression which leads to deterioration.
Find your purpose in what you love doing:
You don’t go to work for money. You go to work for satisfaction. You discover your purpose from what you enjoy doing. Pay attention to what your kids enjoy doing to help them find their purpose.
React Vs. Respond:
If I end up reacting, then I have given my power to the person or situation. When this occurs, then everything outside of you is in control. If you take the time to think and respond – that is what gives you control. We have to take a moment to stop and think before we react. We never win when we are reacting.
Upside Down – Inside Out:
Go inside of yourself to your spiritual self. Thoughts are potent and spiritual and also powerful. Go from the inside out explains Proctor. Coin analogy: Two sided coin. One side is rough and one side is smooth. The rough side of the coin symbolizes working from the outside in and letting the outside dictate your life. The smooth side of the coin is working from the inside out and signifies being in harmony when everything is flowing.
Accountability Partner:
I love how Bob explains why an accountability partner is important. If I tell my husband what my goal is (he knows) then I won’t want to let him down. I respect and admire him and want him to see me do well.
Make a total commitment to something. Tell yourself that it must happen.
Growth is being uncomfortable:
Don’t get too comfortable. Keep setting new goals for yourself. Bob explains that when we get comfortable it means it has become a part of our paradigm. We will grow more when we keep striving for things that make us uncomfortable. Growth is in the discomfort. He also tells us to emulate people that we admire. I remember my brother telling us that he talks to people who are even more successful than he is to learn from them.
Every morning to start your day:
Write down ten things that you are grateful for every morning. Then Proctor tells us to send love to three people who are bothering us. He is getting us into a loving vibration.
Meditate for five minutes and then ask for guidance for the day. He tells us that we will get what we ask for. I love this ritual to start our day in some good energy!
If we are feeling grateful – we will feel different and we will see things differently.
If we send out feelings of love and gratefulness, then that is what we are going to get in return. Doesn’t that sound absolutely amazing!
Problems:
All problems reside within you. If we have a problem, then we are in charge of fixing it. It takes a mental adjustment to be able to solve a problem. We are both the problem and the solution. We have a lot more control then we think we do.
There is so much more that I can write about this book. I am going to stop here because this was a lot of content for you. I hope that you will read this over a few times and let it all sink in. I would love to hear from you! Tell me what resonated with you at whinypaluzamom@ gmail.com. Let me know if you get the book and what you think! I hope this is as helpful to you as it was for me. I am going after my goals, and I hope that you will too.
Laughing, Learning, Loving,
Rebecca Greene, LCSW-R
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