I absolutely love this topic request. Body positivity is something that is close to my heart and something that is very important to me to teach to my three children. My son just turned 18 years old, my daughter is going to turn 16 in one month and my youngest daughter is 12 years old. From a very young age they are learning to love or not love their body from us. You have an important job to teach them how to embrace their body. Don’t worry, you have a chance today to begin the path of doing a better job, loving your own body and teaching this to your children. It is never too late to make positive changes. I cringe about the times that my daughters saw me judging myself in the mirror.
In a world where we can be overwhelmed with messages about what bodies should look like, embracing our own body is more important than ever. Not just for our own mental health, but for the wellbeing of our children, who look to us as their first and most influential role models. If we work on loving our own body, then we can be a good example and teach this to our children.
What is Body Positivity?
Body positivity is the idea that all bodies, regardless of shape, size, color, age, or ability, deserve love, respect, and admiration. It’s about celebrating bodies as they are, without pressure to conform to specific ideals. This challenges societal norms and promotes the acceptance of all body types, aiming to help individuals build confidence and appreciate their own unique body.
Why It Matters for Parents
As parents, we’re fostering self-esteem in our children. They observe and absorb our attitudes toward our bodies. How we talk about ourselves (and others) plays a significant role in shaping their perceptions and relationships with their own bodies. They are not going to do what we say, they are going to learn by what we are actually doing. Promoting body positivity not only supports our mental and emotional health but also empowers our children to resist societal pressures and embrace their natural selves.
How to Foster Body Positivity at Home
Mindful Language
Use positive language when discussing your body and others. Avoid negative talk about weight and appearances. Instead, focus on what bodies can do, not just how they look. I tell my children not to use the word fat at all. We don’t talk about ourselves that way and we don’t talk about others either. Teach them about self love and compassion for themselves. We want our children to be aware of their thoughts and to learn to shift themselves to positive self talk. I also want our kids to learn that when their mind is off to the negative races, they don’t have to believe their thoughts. I tell my kids to take control and show their brain who is boss.
Compliment beyond appearances. Praise qualities like kindness, intelligence, and creativity. This helps children value themselves and others for more than just physical attributes. We don’t want our children to only be focused on how they look. I tell my daughters all the time that they are beautiful inside and outside. I also tell them that their inner beauty reflects to their outer beauty.
Educate on Media
Discuss media images. Talk about how photos are often edited and how media promotes unrealistic body standards. This can demystify the images they see and reduce the pressure to look a certain way. Filters can really play mind games with us.
Choose books, movies, and shows that celebrate diverse body types and stories. Representation matters in fostering a healthy body image.
Model Positive Behavior
Let your children see you taking care of your body through nourishing food, enjoyable activity, and self-care routines. It’s about health and happiness, not meeting beauty standards. I work out because it makes me feel good. I eat healthy to take care of my body and get energy. Explain this out loud to your children. I interviewed a wonderful therapist who told me to talk things through out loud for my children so that they hear how I think things through and can learn from me.
Express self-love and gratitude. Talk about what you appreciate about your body. I am so thankful for my body. I tell them to say thank you to their body for everything it does for them every day. Thank you, body, for digesting my food. Thank you legs and feet for walking a lot of miles today and getting me where I need to go. I see people in the grocery store in their motorized carts and it makes me love my body a little more. I look in the mirror and say thank you. I look in the mirror and tell myself how wonderful I look. Teach this and show this to your children.
Encourage Intuitive Eating
Eat mindfully. Encourage listening to their bodies and eating when hungry, stopping when full. Help them enjoy a variety of foods without guilt. I want my children to ask themselves if they are hungry. I want them to be aware if they are eating out of boredom. I also want them to think about what they are eating before they eat it. Trying to eat over 100 grams of protein every day has changed my eating. I am conscious of eating enough protein and what I am putting in my body because of my eating goals. It has made me more thoughtful about what I eat, and I find I do less mindless eating. Being mindful is a skill that helps us with food, with being responsive vs. reactive, helping us be more present and enjoy our days along with so many more benefits.
Avoid labeling foods as good or bad. This helps prevent an unhealthy relationship with food. Instead, teach about nutrition and balance. I don’t want my kids to eat a cupcake and then tell themselves they are bad for eating it. I want them to embrace and eat all foods. I want them to have a piece of chocolate. I also want them to learn moderation and know that their meals should be full of healthy food to fuel their bodies.
Supportive Environment
Create a positive home environment where all body types are accepted and respected. This can significantly impact a child’s self-esteem and body image.
Be a safe space for discussions about body image concerns. If they’re struggling, listen without judgment.
Avoid Comparisons
Every body is different and unique. I want my children to learn to love the body that they were gifted with, and I want them to treat it with love and care. I don’t want them to worry about what other people look like or weigh. Everyone has different curves and muscle tone. They don’t need to look like anyone besides themselves. Love what you were given and don’t worry about what anyone else looks like. You are uniquely you and how special is that.
Surround yourself with Positivity
We want to be around people who lift us up and make us happy. I want my kids to learn to have friends who compliment them and support them. I want my kids to do the same for their friends. If a television show, a book, social media, a friend or family member are bringing you down and making you feel bad about yourself – make some changes. I also want to teach my kids to stick up for themselves and let someone know if they make them feel badly. My kids are hard enough on themselves, they need the people around them to shine positivity their way.
Embracing body positivity is a continuous journey of learning and unlearning. It’s about feeling thankful for the body that we have. By fostering an environment of acceptance and respect, we can set the stage for our children to grow up confident and secure in their own skins.
Remember, every step you take towards accepting your body and promoting positivity influences not just your self-perception but also the health and happiness of your little ones. Let’s commit to loving ourselves and raising the next generation to do the same.
I’ve come a long way with this topic, and I am very proud of myself. I went from someone who was extremely critical of myself to someone who loves and appreciates my body. Someone who can look in the mirror and smile and appreciate myself. I feel so much love as I work on passing this on to you and to my children. Thank you for this inspirational topic request. Go look in the mirror and give yourself some love.
Laughing, Learning, Loving,
Rebecca Greene, LCSW-R
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