As summer draws to a close and the new school year approaches, many of us parents find ourselves caught between the bittersweet end of lazy summer days and the excitement (or anxiety) of getting our kids back into the school routine. The transition from summer fun to school structure can be challenging, but with a little planning and some creative strategies, we can make it a smooth and stress-free experience for the whole family. I can honestly say that for the first time, I am excited for the new school year. My kids are ready to take off to 7th grade, Sophomore year and Senior year of school.
Note: I also realize that some of you have already started school. We live in Buffalo, New York, and our kids go back to school next week.
How can we help ourselves and our children ease back into school:
Gradually Shift Bedtimes
One of the biggest hurdles we face as parents is getting our kids back on a school appropriate sleep schedule. If your children have been enjoying later bedtimes during the summer, start adjusting their bedtime and wake-up time gradually – about 15 minutes earlier each night until they’re back on track. This way, the first week of school won’t come with the shock of an early alarm clock!
My 11 year old daughter and I don’t have a choice with this one. She has cheerleading early this week, so she is already going to start getting used to getting up early.
My 15 year old daughter is very responsible and starts easing herself back into the schedule on her own before school begins.
My 17 year old son is going to get as much sleep as he possibly can and won’t want to start waking up early until he absolutely has to.
You know your children. You know if you need to start changing bedtimes and wake up times to help them ease back into the routine. There have been plenty of times we just jump right back into the schedule. I don’t recommend this. Easing them to an earlier bedtime and earlier wake up time goes much better than jumping in like we have done.
Reestablish Routines
Summer often means a break from rigid routines, but now’s the time to bring them back. Start practicing your school day routine before the first day. This includes setting up a morning routine, such as getting dressed, eating breakfast, and brushing teeth, as well as an after-school routine that involves homework time, playtime, and bedtime rituals. The more familiar the routine is, the easier it will be for everyone to adjust. If your children are old enough, start having the conversations about what your expectations are of the morning and after school routine are. Little kids tend to do well seeing a visual routine if you can hang it up for them.
I know a lot of parents kept some sort of routine over the summer. Hopefully your children can transition from summer routines to school routines easily. Remember to have realistic expectations from them as they adjust to the school routine Also remember that kids get tired and cranky the first couple of weeks as it is a big adjustment.
Set up a dedicated space for homework that’s free from distractions. Whether it’s a corner of the living room or a desk in their bedroom, having a consistent spot for schoolwork helps kids focus and makes it easier for them to get into the habit of doing homework.
Get Organized Together
Get your kids excited about the new school year by involving them in the preparation. Let them pick out their school supplies, organize their backpacks, and choose their first-day outfit. When kids feel involved, they’re more likely to be enthusiastic about going back to school. Having everything in its place not only helps kids feel prepared, but it also eases morning chaos when you’re rushing out the door.
Put your kids in charge of as much as you can to take it off of your own mental load. I left my daughter in charge of organizing her school supplies today. Now I need to go see how she did. It’s a win win because they gain more independence and we take it off of our long ist.
My high school kids won’t get their school supply lists until school begins. That is always a challenge trying to find supplies after everything is sold out. I ordered a lot online this year to ease my burden of running from store to store. I am hoping I can order it all online when I get their school supply lists the first week of school.
Talk About Feelings
Going back to school can be an emotional time for kids, especially if they’re starting at a new school. Take some time to talk to your children about how they’re feeling. Are they excited, nervous, or a little of both? Let them know it’s normal to have mixed emotions, and reassure them that it’s okay to talk about any worries they might have. Discuss their expectations and any concerns they may have. A positive and supportive dialogue helps alleviate any anxiety they might be feeling.
I love seeing my daughters texting all their friends to see who is in their classes. I also don’t love it when they are disappointed with the results. My daughter Ella found a lot of people in her classes but is still looking to see who she has lunch with.
You can reduce your children’s stress by helping them find out who is in their classes. Telling your first grade daughter that she has her friend Sally in her class will help calm her nerves for the new school year. I also like to remind my kids that a new school year is always an opportunity to make new friends too.
Plan Fun School-Year Traditions
One way to ease the transition is to start a new back-to-school tradition. Whether it’s a special breakfast on the first day of school, a family photo tradition, or a fun after-school activity to look forward to, these small rituals can create positive associations with the start of the school year and give kids something to be excited about. I know a wonderful mom who always bakes her kids a pencil cake on the first day of school. I know another mom who always bakes cookies. It is a great time to plan a back to school get together for your child and their friends. I would love to hear what your back to school traditions are.
Stay Positive and Supportive
Remember, your attitude sets the tone for your kids. If you’re stressed or dreading the school year, they’ll pick up on that. Instead, focus on the positives – new friends, exciting learning opportunities, school sports and clubs and the structure that comes with the school routine. Offer plenty of encouragement and support, and remind them (and yourself) that this transition is just another adventure in the journey of growing up.
Establish a Family Calendar
Keep track of everyone’s schedules with a family calendar. Mark important dates like the first day of school, after-school activities, and parent-teacher conferences. A visual reminder helps everyone stay organized and reduces the chances of last-minute surprises. We are all on the family calendar on our cell phones for the five of us to refer to. However, if your kids are younger than mine, hanging a big calendar in the kitchen for everyone to look at helps everyone now what the schedule is each day. I know most families I talk to are using a family calendar. My neighbor has her whole wall painted with dry erase paint and she writes her calendar on the big wall. I think that’s a wonderful visual for them all to refer to.
Plan Nutritious Meals and Snacks
Healthy eating is key to keeping your kids energized and focused throughout the school day. Plan and prepare nutritious breakfasts, lunches, and snacks ahead of time. Involve your kids in the meal planning process to make sure they’re excited about what they’re eating.
Not only do my kids have a long day at school, then they go to sports after school. I make sure everyone has enough food and water for the day along with making sure I have dinner ready to eat after, before, or in between sports depending on each day and what the schedule is. Some families have to prep dinner in the car in between activities. If you stop at the Mcdonalds drive through don’t be hard on yourself. Don’t beat yourself up. Cheer yourself on as you adjust to a new crazy schedule.
Reconnect with School Friends
If your children haven’t seen their school friends all summer, try to arrange a playdate or two before school starts. Reconnecting with friends helps ease first-day jitters and makes going back to school something to look forward to.
Communication with School Staff
As a social worker, one of the things that I see to help students be successful is a strong home/school link. What that means is that the parents and school work together as a team. If your child has certain needs that you want to make sure are addressed, make sure to talk to the necessary people at school. People that this could include are the teacher, social worker, psychologist, etc. Let them know what will help your child to succeed and ask how you can be helpful at home. Together you and the school can help your child have the successful year that you are looking for.
Transitioning from summer to school doesn’t have to be stressful. With these tips, you can help your family adjust smoothly and start the school year off on the right foot. Remember, a little planning and a lot of positivity go a long way in making the back-to-school season enjoyable for everyone. Take the lead and be a positive role model for your kids.
Cheers to a fantastic school year! I am excited for our kids and what this next chapter looks like.
Laughing, Learning, Loving,
Rebecca Greene, LCSW-R
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