Being a Good Friend

Let’s talk about something essential yet often overlooked in the whirlwind of motherhood: friendship. As we navigate the joys and challenges of raising our kids, it’s easy to put our friendships on the back burner. However, having a strong support system of friends is not just a luxury; it’s a lifeline.

Friendship provides us with a sense of connection and belonging, which is crucial for our mental and emotional well-being. Whether it’s a quick coffee catch-up, a venting session over the phone, or a group playdate, these moments with friends can recharge our spirits and remind us that we’re not alone in this journey. My friends help to keep me a sane mama! Also, remember that you are teaching your children, by example how to be a good friend and how to maintain friendships.

How do we nurture our relationships and be a good friend?

Prioritize Time Together and Stay connected: Schedule regular meetups or virtual hangouts. Even a short chat can make a big difference. Make an effort. I notice that a 15-minute phone call, a text or a one-hour coffee date can make me so happy! Just letting someone know you are thinking of them keeps you connected. 

Be Honest and Open: Share your struggles and triumphs. Authentic conversations deepen connections and provide mutual support. Honesty fosters trust and authenticity. Share your thoughts and feelings openly and encourage your friends to do the same. Constructive feedback, when delivered with kindness, can strengthen your bond and help both of you grow.

Offer and Accept Help: Don’t hesitate to lean on your friends and be there for them in return. It’s a two-way street that strengthens bonds. Some of you are more comfortable giving than taking. I want to remind you that your friends feel better when they can reciprocate and give to you too. I also want to emphasize that friendship is giving AND taking. You shouldn’t be the one doing all the giving.

Celebrate Each Other: Acknowledge and celebrate your friends’ milestones and successes, big or small. This positivity fosters a supportive and uplifting friendship dynamic. Real friends are cheering you on and feel happiness for you when you are succeeding.

Be Present: In our busy lives, being present can be challenging, but it’s one of the most valuable gifts we can offer. Show up, both physically and emotionally, for your friends. Listen actively, engage fully in conversations, and make an effort to understand their feelings and experiences.

Show Empathy: Empathy is at the core of any strong friendship. Whether your friend is celebrating a victory or facing hardship, being empathetic shows that you truly care. Sometimes, all it takes is a kind word or a thoughtful gesture to let them know you’re there for them.

Be Reliable and trustworthy: Trust is built on reliability. Keep your promises, be consistent, and let your friends know that they can count on you. Whether it’s for a planned meet-up or in times of crisis, being dependable strengthens the bond between you. I also really truly appreciate it when my friends are on time! It makes me feel like they value me and our time together. Also, make your friends feel like they can trust you. Sometimes your friends are going to want to confide in you and they aren’t going to want you to spread it around town.

Respect Boundaries: Every friendship is unique, and respecting boundaries is crucial. Understand and honor your friends’ needs and limits, whether it’s about time, space, or personal preferences. Healthy boundaries ensure mutual respect and longevity in friendship. A perfect example is that I love to give my friends my time, but I have my limits of when I need to return to my parenting responsibilities.

Be Positive and Fun to be with: I totally understand that my friends go through hardships, and I want to be there for them. However, you don’t want someone bringing you down every time you see them. You want to try to stay positive and be enjoyable to be with. You want to have fun together and talk about what is going well.

Listen and be understanding without judgement: A good friend doesn’t talk the entire three hours that you are together. Good friends make sure to listen and be understanding without judgement. We want to feel like we can talk to our friends and that it is a safe space to do this. We want there to be a conversation that goes back and forth.

Being a good friend isn’t about grand gestures; it’s about the consistent, small acts of kindness and support that build a strong foundation. As moms, our time and energy might be limited, but the effort we put into our friendships is invaluable. By being a good friend, we not only enrich our own lives but also create a supportive community that helps us all thrive.

Reach out to a friend today. Send a message, make a call, or plan a get-together. Your friendship is a beautiful gift, and nurturing it is one of the best things you can do for yourself and those you care about. Be a good friend and surround yourself with people who reciprocate what it takes to be a good friend.