When I was in my 30’s having children, I was a totally different person. I’m sure a lot of you can relate. I have changed, grown and evolved since that younger mother. I’m in my 40’s now, and I see a different version of myself.
The old me couldn’t go to sleep until I thought the house looked perfect.
The new me laughs at that version of myself and has no problem going to sleep with dishes in the sink.
The old me had to volunteer at every single school event.
The new me knows this isn’t possible for many reasons right now.
The old me could never miss a soccer game. Are you crazy old me?
The new me has three kids in three different directions and knows what is realistic.
The old me was constantly cleaning.
The new me doesn’t like wasting my precious time cleaning all the time. The new working me likes to hire cleaning ladies.
The old me would go to a million stores to find everything.
The new me tries to buy everything I need at one store. This isn’t always possible, but I don’t run around like crazy like I used to.
The old me would micromanage everything.
The new me has reduced my standards and expectations. The new me knows my way is not the only way.
The old me thought that self care was selfish.
The new me knows that it is necessary not selfish.
The old me was very hard on myself.
The new me is proud of myself.
The old me would tell Seth he’s too late to do something.
The new me steps aside and lets him take over.
The old me thought that we had to be busy all weekend doing things.
The new me knows that is not what my family needs.
The old me thought that I had to attend every single meeting. Silly me!
The new me doesn’t prioritize that.
The old me was reactive.
The new me consciously works to pause and think first and calm down before I say something.
The old me did things out of guilt.
The new me is much more choosy with my time.
The old me had really screwed up priorities.
The new me looks at my day and knows how to prioritize.
The old me thought everything was important.
The new me knows what is most important in my day. The soccer clothes may need to be washed, but the floor doesn’t.
How did I get to this new me?
Maybe I’m tired?
Maybe I’m smarter?
Maybe I value my time more?
Maybe all of the above.
Think about yourself in ten years. Think about what you will be thinking is important. Think about what you will be looking back on. Will you be proud of the hours you spent cleaning? I think a clean house is important. I also don’t think that I will look back and be proud of the hours and hours I spent cleaning. Think about what your values are and align your days with that. When our days are aligned with our values then we are happier moms. I value cheering Max on at soccer. I value driving my kids around. I value dates with my husband. I value being at Ella’s theater shows. I value cheering Lillie on as she cheers. I value time with our parents. I value time with our friends. I value the people in my life. Time with my people is very important to me. I value being a wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend.
I would love to hear about the old you vs. the new you. I would love for you to comment and share with us.
Laughing, Learning, Loving,
Rebecca Greene, LCSW-R
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