I get the wonderful privilege to talk to amazing people every week for my podcast. We have such great discussions and I usually learn something or have something I already know reinforced for me. You just never know what you will take away from a conversation with a fellow therapist and it’s usually magical. One of the therapist’s I spoke with told me that she believes in her clients before they believe in themselves. I felt a “Ding, ding, ding,” go off in my head. This is our main job right here. As a therapist, mother, wife, daughter, sister, cousin, friend, one of my main jobs is to see everyone’s potential before they do. Sometimes you have a light bulb moment, and this was one of those times. This was such an important point. This is the cheerleader in me that is cheering for everyone in my life to win. I want us to discuss this because it’s going to help you with everyone in your life.
Have you ever noticed how you see other people? I notice that I tend to see people’s strengths. A perfect example is my friend telling me how terrible her hair looks when I was just noticing how beautiful I thought she looked. How her hair was a great color and length. I found it funny that she texted me that she needed her hair done when I had just seen her and thought her hair looked perfect. We are so much easier on other people. While I cringe at my hair color right now, I admire her beautiful strawberry blonde hair. I need to get lightened up ASAP. That’s another story.
I notice how beautiful my friend looks as she tells me she needs her hair done.
I notice how great my friend’s house looks as she tells me it’s a mess.
I notice how my client’s child just handed her something nicely as she tells me how poorly behaved he has been.
I notice the math work Lillie completed all by herself as she tells me she is bad at math.
I notice the computer work Max is doing as he tells me he has a lot to learn.
I notice how Seth handles any problem at work (with the help of his team) as he tells me there is an issue.
I notice my friend spending quality time with her child.
I notice my parents helping people every day at their store.
I notice my friend’s beautiful writing.
I notice my friend’s ability to relax and read a book in her backyard.
I notice the beautiful gardens my mom and friends have.
I notice so many strengths around me. My family and friends ooze with strengths. Maybe it is because I was trained to look for strengths. As a therapist, we are detectives. We put the pieces together and observe our client’s strengths. We use those very strengths to help them overcome challenges. We notice that they are displaying a strength in one situation so that we can help them generalize that skill to another area in their life where they are struggling. I see their strengths before they do. I point them out and give them examples. I do this with my friends and family every day. It has become very natural, and it is a great thing to teach to others. If we can see people’s strengths, then we can point them out to them before they notice it. If we see our own strengths, we can feel better about ourselves. It is a better rose colored world to live in a strength focused world.
We often see people’s potential before they see it in themselves. Do you know that it takes just one person to make a difference in someone’s life? You can make a difference in the life of a friend, family member, client, customer, child. You have the power to make a difference.
What can you do:
- Just be there for someone. Sometimes just listening and being that ear for someone can make a huge difference.
- Point out the strengths that you see. They may not see them.
- Help them to generalize a skill. Example – “Lillie, you have no trouble memorizing songs. You have a fabulous memory and can use that for math facts. Maybe we can even make a song about math facts?”
- Tell someone that you believe in them, “I believe in you. I know you can do this.”
- Treat yourself with the same kindness. Point out your own strengths and believe in yourself.
Have you heard of a self fulfilling prophecy? Self fulfilling prophecy is that people behave how we expect them to behave. If you expect greatness, you get greatness. If we look for our child’s good behavior, we find it and get more. When Seth opened his first business I totally and completely believed in him. I knew that he was going to do great. Having me behind him believing in him helped him. He rose to the greatness that I expected of him. I had no doubt.
If you believe that you can do something you will. If you believe in someone else and see their potential, they will rise to that. If you see your child’s potential, focus on that. Focus on their strengths. You will get more of what you see and believe in. If you believe your spouse is sweet, kind, funny and smart, you will get more of that. What you focus on expands. What you believe in happens. Use this power for good because it goes the other way too.
Go believe in someone. Go believe in yourself.
Laughing, Loving, Learning,
Rebecca Greene, LCSW-R
Updates:
If you are looking for a supportive community, come join the Whinypaluza Mom Facebook group. I created this as I wanted us to have a place where we can talk about tips, strengths and challenges we are having. It is another step I took to help everyone to know that you are not alone. We just completed the August Summer Challenge. Come join us and bring a friend with you! I love to give away prizes!
https://www.facebook.com/groups/whinypaluzamoms
The Whinypaluza Schedule:
Whinypaluza Wednesdays: My weekly blog comes out every Wednesday. I am always open to your topic requests. A new Vlog (video blog) also comes out every Wednesday night on Facebook and You Tube live at 9:00 PM to discuss the blog. If you would rather listen to a podcast than watch a Vlog, you can wait for the following Wednesday and the Vlog is released on my Podcast.
Family Fridays: Every Friday morning a new Podcast is released. Most of my episodes on Fridays are my discussing parenting and marriage with experts on the topic. If you would rather watch the Podcast instead of listen, you can watch it on Facebook or You Tube. If you would like to be on my Podcast or know someone who would like to please message me on Facebook or Instagram or at whinypaluzamom@gmail.com
I would so greatly appreciate it if you would subscribe, rate my Podcast and leave me a five star review. This leads to it being shown to more people that we can help. I’m launching a giveaway each month to someone who has subscribed and written me a five star review. I would also love for you to share my blogs, vlogs and podcasts with a friend so that we can build our community and help people one mama at a time.
Please feel free to email me with suggestions for topics that you would like for me to cover. I would also love to hear about any lessons or takeaways that you learned from blogs, vlogs or podcasts that Whinypaluza releases. This is all for you (it helps me too), and I hope that you are finding it helpful and seeing that you are never alone. We are in this parenting world together.
