How NOT to get your wife’s attention:
Go to the same high school but don’t talk to her as she is the captain of the cheerleading team and you consider her way out of your league.
Sleep through the Yom-Kippor service you are supposed to attend with your parents.
Feel so guilty (it is the holiday of repentance after all) that you go to the second service which is for last names ending in K-Z.
Accidentally sit two rows behind your future wife as she is praying to meet a nice Jewish man in temple.
When she goes to the bathroom, follow her out and give her your business card.
Have her accidentally lose your business card in the bottom of her purse for four months.
Get an email from her right after your current relationship just happens to end (as does hers).
Email her and tell her to call you.
Talk every night for hours before your first date.
Pick her up and be charming.
Have the most amazing first date ever, that lasts 12 hours.
Propose within 9 months of dating.
Get married within 9 months of being engaged.
Get pregnant within 9 months.
Get pregnant again 17 months later
When your son is five and your daughter is three and you are finally out of diapers, accidentally have another baby and start all over again.
Then complain about how her life revolves around the kids and you don’t get enough attention and see how she reacts.
by Seth Greene
